4.

And on the eighth day, God rose satisfied with the work he had done and in desire for a self-congratulatory meal. From the grain of the earth, he sowed two wheat buns and saw that it was good.

Adam First of Man saw this and called to the Lord, “Father, what do you make now?” to which The Lord responded, “I’m about to rock your fucking world. Bring me a cow.”

Puzzled but eager, Man left and returned with a cow in tow, and God saw that it was good.

He smote it before Adam First of Man, who cried out in surprise, but the Father paid no heed and quickly fashioned two thick patties from the meat of the cow as it cooked. He placed them between the buns amidst the lettuce, onions and tomatoes he had collected from the vast gardens he crafted three days prior.Thus the two thick, juicy beef patties sat nestled between wheat buns on a bed of the fresh vegetables the newborn world had already produced.

The lord cut it in half and handed part to Adam First of Man. Man salivated with anticipation as juice dripped to the sides of the burger.

God bit into the burger and saw that it was good.

Adam bit into his and thought to himself, “Needs more meat.”

Writing Prompt: Write a eulogy for a sandwich, to be delivered while eating it.